Most people who call us want a better life. For some, that means finding a romantic love. For others, a more exciting relationship with their life partner, family or friends. Some are seeking better relationships with their children; some with parents. Most are willing to do something and don't know where to start.

Of those who are willing to consider that a better life is possible, all but a few act as though their success depends upon another person. That person needs to read, to listen, to realize � to change. It seems that most of us prefer to believe that somebody else must take action to make our life better.

It seems clear that most of us prefer pleasure to pain, health to sickness and joy over sorrow. So I offer this simple test. If you are not joyful, healthy and pleased with your life most of the time, this adage says it all: The person with the pain has the problem.